I can believe how fast the year has gone.  This time last year I was all amped for my 50th birthday. This year Im trying desparately to get the years to start moving in reverse so I can be 49 in 16 days... I aim to  be 45 for my son Brads 30th... wonder if that will happen lol

In the last year so much has happened, good and bad.  I have seen the devastation and destruction of my home town,Christchurch (thankfully all my family were unharmed) seen my eldest son pack up and move to Aussie, watched  my youngest son shoot up and tower over us all while completing his last year at imtermediate,, watched from afar my beautiful daughter living it up in London and travelling to amazing places like Morocco and Ibiza,  met some wonderful new clients, continued training dedicated long term clients, and also said goodbye to a few clients who have given up on me or given up on training, but most of all I have seen myself get to this happy place where I am comfortable being who I am,  enjoying doing what I am doing and loving the people I choose to be with. For some reason I have this huge appreciation for happy time at the moment - I think it is due to being happy full stop . At present I am counting down to February when my son and daughter come to stay with us, but I definately do not wish my days away.. Im enjoying life far too much.  I have just had two weeks off training due to having a cortison injection in my shoulder two weeks ago. Long time ago it would of killed me having the time off and i would of been grumpy and unbearable. I probably would of gained weight or gone mental  - one of the two , but this time I have made the most of the evenings not having to train and I have made the most of he time available to do other things.  Ive have had some amazing nights out with Bee and our friends lately, some lovely dinners ,  and lots of gorgeous nights at home. Now we are getting back into training, not for competition at this stage, but definately in preparation for something big next year and Im all rearing to go..

So here I am, almost turning 51 but feeling 31 - and feeling proud of my children, my job, my career, my boyfriend and Im now happy to be in a positive place.  I have been in the bodybuilding world now for 20 years and although there and are people who have helped me along the way, I have earnt my place by working my way up the ladder and succeeding in my sport by using my own sheer determination, dreaming my dreams and of course begin blessed with genes from my parents. There have been alot of ups and downs along the way - you could just imagine.  I got thrown a few weeks ago mentally but have gotten over that ugly period now.. All I can say is any person who thinks or states that  "they made me" are wrong!  Nobody but my parents and myself made me!  That person gets no award but in his/her own head..  

A few weeks ago I was told by the same person that I have grown to be the woman that no woman wants to be like. It was an ugly negative statement and it took some time (days infact ) for me not take it personally but to  accept that the person who said that to me was more likely to be the person that nobody wanted to be like,  male or female. 
Ugly statements are like rumours, they are mostly a projection of the individual who started them.  So after alot of thinking and discussion with the important guy in my life, I have decided to listen to him and have regained my confidence. Now Im hoping that karma does its magic as it so often does,  while keeping my fingers crossed that I do set a good standard for all NZ woman to aspire to. I think I may put a new poll up onsite.   

So where to go from here. What do I dream of doing in the future.  At my age 51, many people would think of giving up our sport, competitively I mean, but I am 100% sure I have a few years left in me of competition so now I have my head in the right space again I can start dreaming again. Until I have a contest plan in place, then  I want to continue training with Bee as hard as we have always done and my goal is to keep my quads and butt looking good ....   They are the two parts I used to hate on my body so much, but now I am happy with them strangley enough, even off season. . I used to hate my boobs most  of all, but a few operations sorted that out lol.....  Keeping the legs and glutes sexy means  hard work is required....  thats why I love to train legs and create awesome quad + hammie routines for females.So check out my new Bubble Butt programme coming on site next week.  A sample video is going on youtube tomorro...   

 Now back to goals, along with  competing  again next year,Id Like to inspire more and more woman to take up our sport, if not competitively then just for fitness and to help keep the body healthy and looking good.  I want to continue trying to help woman get their heads around the nutrition side of our sport. Its not easy keeping it balanced but it can be done... Firstly you must work hard to get your body to a point where you are happy with it, then it is just a case of keeping the  training and food balanced so that you maintain the look.  I find it basically easy.  If I feel fat,  I add some runs in.  If Im feeling ok, then I keep things the same, If I feel skinny fat, I up the protein and drop the carbs.......   Its all basic stuff you know and once you work it out in your head  then you can apply it to your body.  Once you accept the fact that you will be exercising physically and exercising balance with your food on a daily basis for the rest of your life then it all falls into place.  Course we all need days where we can enjoy some good extra food and some good wine or whatever, but there is some give and take somewhere - what goes in must go out.  So enjoying some light food and good wine is good,   enjoying heaps of food and wine,  not so good.   So treat yourself in moderation and enjoy the art of being balanced. it feels really good.

Hey thats going to wind it up for today..Remember whether it is someones negativity in your head  or your own mental block with training or nutrition, you have to sort it out in your head before you begin to see the rewards of our sport.  
luf and muscles Jo.